I think we should just blow up Pluto.
This would put the poor bugger out of its misery and end the debate over whether it’s a planet or not. We’d learn a lot from the engineering challenges, and it’d be an interesting social experiment. Who’d chain themselves to Pluto and try to save it? Environmentalists? Astronomers?
Then someone could upload the movie to Youtube, and people would make billions of remixes – a Matrix version, a ping-pong ball version, the Star Wars version which would make it look like Alderaan and superimpose a giant laser on the footage, etc. Enterprising individuals would mix in their favourite musical scores and add subtitles in languages they don’t master. It’d be, literally, a blast.
And the best part is, I’m sure we could pull this off. Just convince the US administration that it’s time to think a little bigger. Make a statement. Show everyone who’s in charge. It’d make a nice little going-away present for the GWB too. You know, real mission accomplished stuff.